Grooming is when a person builds a relationship with a child, young person or an adult who's at risk so they can abuse them and manipulate them into doing things. The abuse is usually sexual or financial, but it can also include other illegal acts. Grooming can take place online or in person and it can happen over a short or long period of time, from days to years.
Online
Groomers are good at lying about who they are, particularly online where they can create a false identity and pretend to be younger than they are. People can be groomed online through:
- Social media networks
- Text messages and messaging apps, like WhatsApp
- Text, voice and video chats in forums, games and apps
In person
A groomer can be a stranger or someone the victim already knows and trusts, for example through a friend or family, or at a club they go to.
Signs of grooming
It can be difficult to tell if someone is being groomed as the signs aren't always obvious and may be hidden.
Some signs to look out for include:
- Are they being secretive about how they're spending their time?
- Do they have an older boyfriend or girlfriend?
- Do they have money or new things like clothes and mobile phones that they can't or won't explain?
- Are they drinking or taking drugs?
- Are they spending more or less time than usual online or on their devices?
- Do they seem upset or withdrawn?
- Are they using sexual language you wouldn’t expect them to know?
- Are they spending more time away from home or going missing for periods of time?
A person won't know they're being groomed, they will trust their abuser who is giving them lots of attention and gifts. Also, their groomer may have warned them not to talk to anyone about it.
Grooming is an offence. If you suspect a person is being groomed, even if you’re not sure, please tell someone. If you think you're being groomed, you should tell someone.
It happened to me
Talk
Talk to someone you trust. Talking things through with someone can sometimes help. This could be a friend, family member or someone at City St George's.
- Student Welfare and Engagement Officers are first points of contact for any wellbeing or student experience related issues. Students can discuss any challenges or life-circumstances which may be affecting their wellbeing and ability to engage with their studies.
Report
- Students can report concerns using City St George’s Report + Support platform. You can choose to do this without providing your personal details or you can request support from an adviser by filling in the form with your contact details.
- Reporting to the police. Where a crime has been committed, you can report what has happened to you to the police. You can call the police on 101, visit your local police station or report it confidentially online.
- University Procedure. If you choose to make a formal complaint to the University about a member of staff or student there are procedures which set out the steps you will need to follow.
Support
Students can connect with staff across the University:
- Student Health and Wellbeing provide students with practical, emotional and specialist disability related support. Students can complete the e-referral form to access these services.
- Student Support Services are a multi-disciplinary team that provides support, expert advice and guidance to students. You can contact them through our Support@City platform
- The Chaplaincy Team offer pastoral support to everyone, welcoming every faith, belief and culture and students with no faith, and can be contacted directly.
- The SU Advice Service offer support for students who have experienced any form of harassment, bullying or sexual violence, either on campus, online or off campus. You can access support here.
Other sources of support
- National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) is a charity working to prevent abuse and help children and their families when abuse has happened. You can contact the NSPCC Helpline by calling 0808 800 500 or emailing help@NSPCC.org.uk
- Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) is a law enforcement agency keeping children and young people safe from sexual exploitation and abuse.
- Childline is a free, private and confidential service where children can talk to a trained counsellor about anything that’s troubling them, any time of day.
- Lucy Faithfull Foundation is a UK-wide charity set up to tackle child sexual abuse.
- Victim Support is a national charity dedicated to helping anyone affected by crime, not just victims and witnesses, but friends, family and anyone else caught up in the aftermath.
It happened to someone I know
Talk
- Listen. Just taking the time to listen to someone and talk about what has happened to them can help. If someone you know has been affected, you can encourage them to seek support. It’s important to listen to what they want to do and respect the decision they make. If they do not wish to seek support or report what has happened to them, you can ask them if you can make an report on their behalf without providing their personal details. These six active listening tips might help you support them.
- Thank the person for the disclosure and acknowledge that you believe them.
- Give options. When they have finished talking ask them if they are okay to talk through some possible options and next steps. Remember, it is important that they decide what they want to do.
Report
- Students can report concerns using City St George's Report + Support platform. They can choose to do this without providing their personal details or they can request support from an adviser by filling in the form with their contact details.
- Reporting to the police. If a crime has been committed, they can report what has happened to the police. They can call the police on 101, visit their local police station or report it confidentially online.
- University Procedure. If they choose to make a formal complaint to the University about a member of staff or a student there are procedures which set out the steps they will need to follow.
Get Support
There are many ways to access support at City St George's and a number of external organisations that provide specialist support. You can encourage the person to access the support they need.
Your mental health and wellbeing
If you are supporting someone, make sure you look after yourself. If you’ve heard something distressing or if something is troubling you, you may also want to access support for yourself.
- Vivup, City St George's Employee Assistance Provider (0800 023 9324) - Their telephone helpline provides staff members with expert support for life's ups and downs - 24/7, 365 days a year. Whatever mental, physical, financial or personal issue you're facing, you can find a wide range of resources to help you.
- The Wellbeing@City Hub provides details of additional information and support on wellbeing for staff members.
Student support and resources are available on the Student Health and Wellbeing pages on the Student Hub and students can complete the e-referral form to access these services. Students can also seek support through Student Support Services or contact staff in the Chaplaincy Team directly. Students can also access additional support through the Students’ Union.