What is domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse is defined as any incident or patterns of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of their gender or sexuality. This includes ‘honour’- based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage.
Family members are defined as parents, children, siblings and grandparents whether directly related, in-laws or step-family. However, this is not an exhaustive list and may also be extended to uncles, aunts and cousins etc.
What is controlling and coercive behaviour?
Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.
Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, frighten, isolate or create dependence.
Who faces abuse?
Domestic abuse occurs amongst people of all ages, gender identities or gender expression, ethnicities, sexualities, disabilities, immigration status, religions or beliefs, and socio-economic backgrounds.
It is not only adults that are affected by domestic abuse. Living in a home where domestic abuse happens can have a serious impact on a child or young person's mental and physical wellbeing, as well as their behaviour. This can continue after the adults' relationship has come to an end, and post-separation abuse and coercive controlling behaviours can continue to remain a factor in the child’s life. The impact can last into adulthood.
Domestic abuse differs in severity between incidents, and more often than not, will increase in frequency and seriousness, having a cumulative impact on the victim.
It is not only adults that are affected by domestic abuse. Living in a home where domestic abuse happens can have a serious impact on a child or young person's mental and physical wellbeing, as well as their behaviour. This can continue after the adults' relationship has come to an end, and post-separation abuse and coercive controlling behaviours can continue to remain a factor in the child’s life. The impact can last into adulthood.
Domestic abuse differs in severity between incidents, and more often than not, will increase in frequency and seriousness, having a cumulative impact on the victim.
What are the types of abuse?
Domestic abuse covers a range of types of abuse, including, but not limited to, psychological or emotional, physical, sexual, financial or economic, digital and online, and stalking and harassment.
Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident, and it is the cumulative and interlinked types of abuse that have a particularly damaging effect on the victim.
Domestic abuse also includes:
- ‘Honour’- based violence
‘Honour-based’ violence is a crime or incident committed to protect or defend the honour of the family or community. The term can cover a collection of practices used to control behaviour within families or other social groups, in order to protect perceived cultural and religious beliefs or honour. These crimes are included within the domestic/relationship abuse definition but may also be carried out by people who are not partners or family members.
A number of offences can be committed in the context of ‘honour’-based violence and forced marriage, including common assault, GBH, harassment, kidnap, rape, threats to kill and murder. Examples of instances that might trigger a ‘honour’-based crime include someone becoming involved with a boyfriend or girlfriend from a different culture or religion, wearing clothes or taking part in activities that might not be considered traditional within a particular culture, or seeking a divorce.
- Female genital mutilation
Female genital mutilation (FGM) is a collective term for a range of procedures which involve partial or total removal of the external female genitalia for non-medical reasons. It is sometimes referred to as female circumcision, or female genital cutting. The practice is medically unnecessary, is extremely painful and has serious health consequences, both at the time when the mutilation is carried out, and in later life.
It is illegal for FGM to be carried out in the UK. It is also illegal to take an individual to another country in order for these types of procedures to be carried out in that country.
It is illegal for FGM to be carried out in the UK. It is also illegal to take an individual to another country in order for these types of procedures to be carried out in that country.
- Forced marriage
A forced marriage is where one or both people do not (or in cases of people with learning disabilities or reduced capacity cannot) consent to the marriage as they are pressurised, or abuse is used, to force them to do so. It is recognised in the UK as a form of domestic or child abuse and a serious abuse of human rights. The pressure put on people to marry against their will may be:
- Physical: for example, threats, physical violence or sexual violence
- Emotional and psychological: for example, making someone feel like they are bringing ‘shame’ on their family
Signs of domestic abuse
It is useful to recognise some of the signs of domestic abuse, and the questions below might help you with this.
Emotional abuse
Does the person ever:
- call you names, or use targeted offensive language?
- belittle you, or put you down?
- isolate you from family and friends?
- exclude you from meaningful events or activities?
- make unreasonable demands for your attention?
- accuse you of flirting with other people or having an affair?
- tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, what to eat or what to think?
Psychological abuse
Does the person ever:
- threaten to hurt or kill you?
- destroy things that belong to you?
- threaten to kill themselves if you don't do what they want?
- blame you for the abuse or arguments?
- deny that abuse is happening, play it down or lie about it?
Physical abuse
The person abusing you may harm you in a number of ways. Does the person ever:
- slap, hit or punch you?
- push or shove you?
- bite or kick you?
- burn you?
- choke you?
- throw things at you?
Financial or economic abuse
Does the person ever:
- control how your money is spent?
- deny you direct access to bank accounts, or loans?
- give you an “allowance” or not give enough to buy food or other essential things?
- run up large debts on joint accounts without your permission or take actions that lead to you having bad credit?
- force you to be involved in fraudulent activity?
Sexual abuse
There are links to and overlap between domestic/relationship abuse and sexual violence. Does the person ever:
- touch you in a way you don't want to be touched?
- make unwanted sexual demands?
- hurt you during sex?
- pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
- pressure you to have sex (including with other people) when you do not want to?
Digital and online abuse
Does the person ever:
- monitor your emails, text messages or social media profiles such as Facebook, Instagram or Twitter?
- use GPS locators and spyware to track your movements?
- share intimate photos or videos without your consent?
What is stalking?
The Police and the Crown Prosecution Service have defined stalking as a pattern of unwanted, fixated and obsessive behaviour which is intrusive. It can include harassment that amounts to stalking or stalking that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress in the victim.
Social media and the internet are often used for stalking and harassment, and ‘cyber-stalking’ or online threats can be just as intimidating.
The behaviour must happen on more than one occasion by the same person or group to be considered harassment; however, it can be different types of behaviour on each occasion. For example, a single threatening comment on social media is not harassment. Two comments or one comment and a text message may be considered harassment.
If you feel you are being harassed or stalked, you can report it to the police or apply for an injunction through civil court. It is a criminal offence for someone to harass you or to put you in fear of violence.
Does the person ever:
- Follow you or make repeated attempts to make contact with or communicate with you?
- Make or send you threatening, intimidating or nuisance phone calls, emails, instant messages etc?
- Send you gifts from the seemingly ‘romantic’ such as flowers, chocolates or cuddly toys, to the ordering of unwanted goods and services?